


Wigan.

by areeskimosreal



Category: Peter Kay's Car Share (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:08:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25737814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/areeskimosreal/pseuds/areeskimosreal
Summary: People are surprised by Kayleigh's professionalism,  and shocked by John's temper.
Relationships: Kayleigh Kitson & John Redmond
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Wigan.

" Why me ?"

" Because you're a senior, and you're good at it "

" But Wigan "

" It's not bleedin Beirut love "

" I know John but I like working here "

" Its for one day Kayleigh, just one day, drop me off, head over, show what's her name how you're doing it, and head back , as leisurely as you like "

" Do I get paid travelling allowance?"

" No you bloody chancer "

" Why not ?"

" Because you'll be in the company car, wi a tank of company diesel that's why ?"

" Oh well, shy kids get nowt John as they say "

The following morning Kayleigh took John to work, after they pulled up, he glanced at her,

" What's up love ?"

" I'm not sure I'm looking forward to today, having to work with Iain I mean "

" I know his reputation too, if that's what you mean, but he is my friend, and he's more likely to be over protective, 'cause he knows I wouldn't take any prisoners if I had to go over there "

" What do you mean ?"

John looked away when Kayleigh looked at him, a sure sign he was hiding something. 

" Have you two had an argument John? "

" No, I just marked his cards a while ago "

" You did what, when ?"

" At his Christmas night "

" What about it ?"

" Well after the little set to in the hallway "

" It wasn't a set to John, I was just telling him I was yours, and I wasn't interested, and never would be "

" I know, but he laughed about it, so when he went for a fag, I followed him, told him how I felt about you, and that nothing or no one would ever get between us, they could try, but they better be able to put up a good fight "

John looked at Kayleigh, she was sitting smiling.

" And ?" 

" He seemed shocked at first, then he hugged me believe it or not, called me a romantic old tart, and hoped that you'd loosen me up at last "

" Thanks for sticking up for me "

" That's what boyfriends do "

" And now that we're married, he knows to keep away "

" He knew that a while ago love "

" But it's definitely only one day ?" 

" I said he could borrow you for a day, that's all "

" You're lending your wife to your friend, don't you dare say that outwith the confines of this car Johnathan"

" God that sounds sordid, don't it ?"

" John Redmond pimp " 

John chuckled. 

Kayleigh kissed John goodbye, and started driving to Wigan.

" Hello Kayleigh love, how are you ?"

" I'm fine Iain thanks "

" You're looking good as ever love, marriage seems to agree with you, John's got a permanent grin in all "

" We only wish we'd met sooner "

" Life's like that sometimes ain't it ?"

" Aye unfortunately " 

" Right formalities over with, let's get down to the floor, did John tell you the script ?"

" Only that the new tapas range wasn't moving , and you reckon it's not being promoted like it should ?"

" Between you and me Kayleigh, I know Lynn is new to promoting, but she don't seem to be getting the basics right "

" Do you want me to promote, or teach her how ?"

" Yes "

" That was two questions Iain "

" I know it was, look you do how you see fit, all I know is that you're punting eight times what she is "

Kayleigh and Iain had been talking as they walked down stairs, now they were on the shop floor .

" One final question ?"

" Aye go ahead love "

" Are you Iain , Litchy or Mister Litchfield "

" Iain, you're me mates wife, and you're used to calling me Iain so Iain is fine "

" Right , Lynn this is Kayleigh Redmond, she's a promotions specialist, she's come over to see if she can help shift this Spanish shite "

" Good luck. " Lynn said, shaking Kayleigh's hand. 

Kayleigh spent a little while getting acquainted with Lynn and the layout, there was very little interest. It seemed the people of Wigan didn't like Spanish food, or didn't know they did, yet "

" Right Lynn, we need a CD player with an auxiliary in, an electric hot plate , some sample glasses and a nice Rioja, do you stock all of them ?"

" I think so, how do I get them ?"

" Requisition them "

" I've never done that "

" Really, ? come on then I'll show you how " 

Kayleigh had to phone Iain to get him to grant her permission, the fact that his number was in her mobile didn't go unnoticed by several people.

Some time later, Iain decided to do his mid morning walk about, he was intrigued by the garlic smell he detected as he stepped onto the floor, as he walked through the centre aisle, he was pleasantly surprised to see a large group of people around the promotions kiosk.

Kayleigh had Spanish flamenco music quietly playing through the cd speakers, courtesy of Spotify, an electric hot plate was sitting on the counter, several tapas dishes simmering nicely, as customers were trying the food, they were being offered a sample of Spanish wine. Kayleigh's easy going manner eliciting smiles and conversation.

Iain walked around behind the kiosk, Lynn saw him, Kayleigh didn't. 

" So what goes with this love, what else can you have ?"

" Paella is good with it, we do that in our world food range in aisle 7, but meatballs or even patatas bravas would go nicely "

" Are they in aisle 7 too love ?" 

" Yes they are " 

" Is this the best wine to go with it miss ?" Another customer asked.

" It's the suggested wine, put it that way although a Malbec, which we have on special just now, or a Shiraz is just as good, it's up to individual taste really "

" What would you drink with it love? " a third customer enquired.

" Cider " Kayleigh replied " but don't tell the boss "

The crowd laughed, clamoured for another taste, and then headed for various different aisles, but Iain noticed more than usual heading for aisle 7.

"That's bloody witchcraft Kayleigh. " Iain said.

" Oh I never saw you there Iain "

" No wonder you punt so much "

" She seems to have a knack with people Mister Litchfield "

" It's just experience, that's all , know people, know their weaknesses " Kayleigh smiled.

" Wine for instance " Iain raised his eyebrows. 

" Alcohol attracts, and if they like it with the food, they buy it "

" Looks like we're doing good so far love, show Lynn what you can eh ?"

" No worries Iain "

Kayleigh went to the cafe for lunch, she didn't want to sit in a break room full of strangers, Lynn asked to join her.

" You been in promotions long Kayleigh ?"

" Most of my adult life really, give or take a few other jobs "

" You must like it then ?"

" It's better than the tills, put it that way "

" I thought it would be easier "

" It will be, once you find your own approach it will get easier "

Kayleigh's phone buzzed .

" Hello Iain, …………. , she's at lunch with me,..............., well you should have said, we don't do that in Bolton,..............okay bye "

" Iain wanted us to take separate breaks " Kayleigh explained. 

" I'll go back " Lynn said as she stood up.

" No you won't, he should have told me earlier "

" Will you get into trouble ?"

" What from Iain, no chance love, he wouldn't dare "

" Are you and him , you know ?"

" God no, me and Iain , yuck , not with a bargepole love, nope never ever , why would you think that ?"

" Iain, this Iain that, you have his number in your mobile"

" Iain is a friend of my husband, they've known each other for twenty odd years, I know him through association that's all, he's my husband's friend, I just know him "

" Now I know "

" Yes you do, " 

Lynn sniggered as Kayleigh shivered at the thought.

" Hiya Lynn, who's your friend " a twentysomething warehouseman asked as he sat at the table uninvited.

Inside Kayleigh cringed, she knew the look, she knew the type, she knew what was coming.

" Do I look deaf or dumb to you ?" Kayleigh snapped.

" No sorry love " The young man answered .

" Well address me directly then " 

" This is Kayleigh, she's come over from Bolton to show me a few promotion techniques "

" He he, Bolton eh ?"

" Yes Bolton, what of it ?"

" Is the fat guy still there ?"

" Who ?" Kayleigh had an inkling who he meant.

" Fat guy, manager, bit gay, well totally gay actually, liked Gloria Gaynor, John that's it , fat gay John is he still there ?"

" John Redmond ?" Kayleigh was raging but didn't show it.

" Yes he's still there ? "

Suddenly Lynn realised.

" You're Kayleigh Redmond ." Lynn exclaimed. 

" That's right, big fat and I can assure you in no way gay , John's wife "

" I think I'd better, eh just eh "

" Yes I think you better sonny " Kayleigh glared at the blushing youngster. 

As the young man walked off Iain appeared,

" Mind if I join you ladies ?"

" I was just nipping out to phone John Iain "

" That's fine love, to be honest I was going to ask Lynn if she picked anything up "

" Excuse me then " Kayleigh got up and headed to her car.

" Is she okay ?" Iain asked Lynn as Kayleigh left.

" Greg just insulted her husband, I think she's angry "

" I'll swing for that little shit , what did he say ?"

" I don't want to tell tales Mister Litchfield "

" Lynn love, there comes a time when you have to decide who your friends are and who you want them to be, so what did he say ?"

After lunch Kayleigh and Lynn were back at promotions, by all accounts the tapas sales were going through the roof. Kayleigh answered her phone.

" Hi Iain , okay yes " 

" Mister Litchfield?" Lynn asked.

" Aye I've to nip up to his office, won't be long love "

Kayleigh arrived at the seating area outside Iain's office, Greg the cheeky young guy was there, she saw his name badge as he looked at her nervously. 

" Right the two of you come in , Kayleigh take a seat love, you, you little idiot can stand " he addressed Greg directly .

" Why am I here ?" Greg asked.

" Because you little shit, you slagged off a manager of another store, and I'm not having it " 

" Iain I…….." Kayleigh started to speak.

" In a minute Missus Redmond, please " Iain said formally.

" Kayleigh here, Missus Redmond was well within her rights to level a complaint against you " Iain continued talking to Greg, " but she didn't, you were overheard you dick "

" I didn't mean…………"

" Fat , gay , you could be out on your arse for being discriminatory Greg, do you know that ?"

" Are you gonna sack me ?"

" The only reason I'm not is because John is one of my oldest friends ,and I'd rather give you a verbal bollocking for slagging my friend ,than put it in procedure because you slagged a manager off "

" Sorry "

" Greg you're an effing idiot, John is a nice guy, he laughs about his weight himself, but he isn't gay, and you have no right saying such things to people you don't know "

" I'm really sorry Iain, and Missus Redmond I shouldn't have said what I did, I sincerely apologise "

" I'll accept on John's behalf " Kayleigh said .

" You've never met the man son, you shouldn't pass judgement until you do, so you're going to Bolton for a month, judge for yourself "

" Bolton ?"

" Either that or I do go through proper procedures, your choice "

" Will he know, what I said, I mean ?"

" I won't say." Kayleigh answered.

" There you go son, Bolton awaits, go on then, don't let the door hit your arse on the way out "

Kayleigh waited until the door was closed, before she spoke to Iain.

" So John the bogey man is it ?" Kayleigh scowled. 

" No give over, Kayleigh, after a month wi John, he'll see how wrong he was, plus a week wi Dave will make me look like mother Teresa, he'll be desperate to get back "

" John's right about you Iain , you can be a sneaky so and so "

" I try love, I try, now go help Lynn sell please "

" Okay boss " 

" As if " 

As the afternoon drew on, Kayleigh took Lynn into the warehouse to see what promotions were imminent.

" There's quite a lot of stock, isn't there " Lynn said rather shocked.

" No list though of what's next "

" Ask Iain "

" I can do better than that, I have access to a promotions manager " Kayleigh winked and took her phone out. She scrolled a few numbers and dialled. 

" Hiya handsome,.........., no he didn't,............, can you tell me the next two or three promotions………..because I asked nicely that's how, no it's so I can give Lynn a head start , hit the ground running. …………, I know I did "

Lynn smiled, she couldn't hear John but seeing Kayleigh smile made her want to .

" Benecol and Cathedral City lighter grated ?" Kayleigh shrugged " who thinks these things up ?".

……………….'cause its shit trying to shift that stuff that's how. .……….Red , no I won't , no …….red flower set from Floozie ,okay pervert…….love you too ,bye " 

Lynn was standing grinning. 

" What ?" Kayleigh asked. 

" Red flower set ………?"

" Don't ask love, it's his way of trying to embarrass me "

" It doesn't though "

" He thinks it does " 

Kayleigh gave Lynn a few pointers on how to promote the upcoming items, Lynn thanked her and made notes, Kayleigh being only too willing to answer whatever questions were put to her, John had text a list of the next six promotions, Lynn went back to try to sell some more tapas, Kayleigh decided to search for as much promotional paraphernalia as possible.

" Hello gorgeous, as much as you're a treat for the old mince pies, I don't think you should be in here darling " 

" Sorry ?"

" Authorised persons only love. I could authorise you though " he winked .

" Authorise me?" 

" Yes I've got it in my power, to allow you unrestricted access, if you know what I mean ?" he winked again.

" Has that ever worked ?" Kayleigh asked, noticing a couple of store men had stopped to listen.

" What worked love ?"

" That idiotic chat up line , I could authorise you , has any sane woman ever responded to that by saying okay gimme a minute to get my knickers off and you can authorise my brains out ?"

The forklift driver was stuck for words.

" Yes or no, I'm reckoning no ? " Kayleigh pushed.

She could see the other store men sniggering at their colleagues predicament. 

" No thought not " she answered for him.

" You still shouldn't be in here " he replied sharply trying to regain some composure. 

" I'm a senior in my post, and as such I have unrestricted access, if you know what I mean ?"

" Well where's your hi viz ?" he didn't seem to know when to give up.

" Same place as all of yours, hanging up over there" she pointed to the row of coat hooks by the door.

" You should be wearing a visitor's badge then "

" I'm on a single day placement, not a visitor, I work for the company, anything else ?"

" No " 

" Good, bye then " 

Kayleigh went about her business, the forklift driver decided to make getting even his.

" So who is she ?" 

" She's from Bolton, an expert on promoting "

" Not that bollocks what dirt have you got ?"

" On her, none "

" There must be something Karen ?"

" Well you didn't hear it from me, but her and Iain are right friendly, first name terms off the bat this morning, and when she needed to phone him, she had his number, Ava in the cafe says he phoned to see where she was as he wanted the kiosk manned at lunch, and she told him to do one , but I never said that okay ?"

" Said what love ?" Gary the forklift driver smiled.

Kayleigh had been making notes on her phone, recommending the best way for Lynn to promote certain lines, all the while she was being watched from afar, Gary wanted to try and catch her and Iain together, get a bit dirt and perhaps a bit of leverage.

" What are you doing back here Kayleigh?"

" John sent me a list of the upcoming promotions, I'm giving Lynn a bit of a hint as to how to promote them" 

Ian stood smiling .

" I don't like you smiling at me like that, makes me feel like an injured gazelle being looked at by a lion"

" Look as much as I've got a reputation as a bit of a lothario……."

" A bit ?"

" Alright a big bit, John had words with me, but believe it or not he didn't need to, you're my friends wife, so you're out of bounds, and that's through my choice, I'm not an animal Kayleigh, I now what boundaries are love "

" I wonder sometimes "

" Kayleigh I like you, but I love John like a brother, I wouldn't hurt him, not even for you, okay "

" Sorry Iain, I've misjudged you "

" Same here "

" Eh ?"

" I thought you were good at promoting because of your personal appeal, but you really know your stuff, do your research, you're quite professional really "

" Only you could make a complement sound as bad as that "

" I try love "

Kayleigh stood on tiptoe and gently kissed Ian's cheek .

" Get off you mentalist, John would have a fit seeing that "

" No he wouldn't, he'd know I was thanking you for making me feel comfortable"

" Well just don't tell anyone, I've got a reputation you know " 

" Oh I know Ian, I know "

" Right Redmond ,I've got staff to supervise "

" And me ?"

" Trying to supervise you is like trying to herd cats, apparently ?"

" Who told you that ?"

" A friend " 

" So what do you want me to do ?" Kayleigh shrugged.

" You do what you see fit, but get her doing better okay?"

" Right boss "

" Ha" 

Gary smiled to himself, the picture of Kayleigh kissing Ian on the cheek was manna from heaven, he'd soon take her down a peg or two , and that arsehole Litchfield.

" It's quality stuff John, not seen anything like it since I was in Japan, top notch "

" I'll have to take your word for it Ray mate, all looks the bloody same to me, smells the same n'all "

" Don't listen girls, he doesn't mean it " Ray said to his fresh fish delivery." Philistine "

" You okay to sign for it pal ?"

" Sure John, all good, I'll just check the numbers "

" Where you heading now Charlie?" John asked the delivery driver.

" Off to your old mate's in Wigan "

John thought for a minute,

" Can I beg a lift ?"

" ' course you can John, nice to get a bit company"

" I'll get you out the back in ten minutes buddy, I best go and sign off, cheers Charlie"

John climbed into the delivery truck cab.

" Thank you Charlie,"

" You're welcome John buddy, why are you not driving though,I thought you had a company car ?"

" Kayleigh's got it, Litchy needed a bit of help with promotions,so she went over to dig him out "

" You let her go voluntarily?"

" Aye " 

" You're more trusting than me John "

" Iain knows the rules, Kayleigh is my wife and he'll respect that "

" Plus, you'd break his neck if he looked at her funny "

" Well there is that too " John chuckled. 

John had known Charlie at school, Charlie had moved away for a few years, but had come back recently, they caught up when they could, the trip to Wigan was such an opportunity.

" I must admit JR I was surprised when I heard about you and Kayleigh "

" Why ?"

" Because she's outgoing, bubbly ,gregarious and a real people person "

" And I'm?"

" None of the above, basically, no offense "

" Well as compliments go it's a bit cack handed "

" Opposites attract eh ?"

" And thank god they do eh ?"

" Here JR, did you hear about big Steven Taylor ?"

" From Dock Road, the school rugby captain ?"

" That's her "

" Her ?"

" Called Stephanie now, sells makeup in Debenhams"

" He was about six three"

" She still is "

" It's a strange world Charlie lad, a strange world "

" Thanks Charlie mate " John said as he got out the cab.

" No bother pal, probably see you on Thursday "

" Mind tell me when you're in, we'll grab a coffee"

" Will do pal "

John was walking as if to head for the front door, as he approached the staff door it opened.

" Hello John, Iain didn't say you were coming over"

The stores deputy manager was finishing early.

" Spur of the moment, thought I'd come and collect my old lady "

" She's over there " Peter nodded towards the red Fiat.

" Kayleigh you twat " John chuckled.

" I know, anyway you don't need to go in the front."

He held the door open for John.

John made his way to the restroom, as he was finished for the day, he had slackened his tie, and had a casual jacket on, his badge was on his shirt, out of sight. He helped himself to a coffee, found a table and text Kayleigh.

" Got a lift here, I'm in the restroom, see you soon xxxxx"

She replied almost immediately. 

" Won't be long, love you xxxxc"

" You alright bud ?". John looked up to see a young man looking at him.

" Fine pal, Peter let me in, I'm waiting for someone "

" Okay bud, no worries."

John took his phone out and text Iain,

"I'm in your filthy restroom, drinking stinking coffee, talking to retards, Welcome to Wigan "

The reply was almost instant.

" You know where the door is, piss off back to Bolton then !!!!, see you shortly buddy "

John watched a group of younger guys walk in, warehouse operatives judging by their uniforms, one was gesturing to others at a second table, to come and join them.

They chose to sit at John's table.

" Look" the shorter tattooed guy, Gary, John saw his name badge, was brandishing his phone.

" What am I looking at ?" Another asked.

" Arsehole and his whoring bird, caught red handed at it in the warehouse "

" That's not what I would all at it "

" I'll let head office decide, I'll elaborate a bit, say I was shocked "

" Dangerous ground Gary son, very dangerous "

" That bastard deserves it, treats me like shit "

" You are a shit if you do that !" Another said,

" Well fuck him, I don't give a shit "

" Who is she ?"

" I dunno really, just one of his tarts "

" I don't recognise her"

" She's not from around here, she's the little redheaded Promotions whore they sent from Bolton, Kay………"

Although he was " Portly " as Kayleigh called him, John had quite a turn of speed. He reached across the table and grabbed Gary by the throat, and heaved him to his feet, everyone else remained seated, too shocked to react.

" She is no whore son, and I won't have a half arsed little wank like you saying she is, I don't know what your issue is with her and Iain, but I suggest you and I settle it right here and now, let's step outside shall we "

" You got claims on her have you, you having Iain's leftovers?"

John went puce, and still holding Gary, walked around the table.

" You're a foul mouthed little fucker aren't you ?"

" On a promise are you, your turn next is it ? Gary's attempt at a smile vanished as John pushed him hard against the wall, 

" You've really got a death wish son "

" John !" Kayleigh almost shrieked. 

She ran over and stood between John and Gary.

" What the fuck is going on ?"

" Hi love " John said flippantly.

" Stop this now let him go "

John gently but firmly pushed Kayleigh away.

" Apologise to her " John said pushing Gary harder.

" I don't talk to slappers"

Kayleigh saw John snap, she watched him draw his hand back, she stood between them again.

" Please John don't do this, I don't want you to be violent because of me "

Kayleigh noticed Iain approach John.

" According to this low life you're a little redheaded whore, he deserves dealing with.

" Not this way though darling, please let him go "

John glared at Gary, who at last seemed to realise the predicament he was in.

" Please John, don't " John could see tears in Kayleigh's eyes.

" John buddy, she's right, you're better than this, leave go now pal eh ?" Iain was standing next to John, his hand on John's arm.

John released his grip, Gary slumped onto the bench at the wall, he never looked at anyone. 

Iain emptied the room of all but those directly involved.

Kayleigh dragged John to the furthest away table, John expected a deserved verbal bollocking. He sat with his head bowed, Kayleigh sat opposite, she reached across and took his hands.

" Well ?"

" Sorry "

" I'd rather have an explanation than an apology John "

" He was slagging you off, calling you Iains whore, had pictures of you two he said, being a nasty little shit head "

" So you thought you'd teach him a lesson ? "

" Basically aye I did "

" Thank you "

" What ?"

" Thank you for standing up for me, I would rather you hadn't the way you did, but thank you anyway "

She leant in and gently kissed him.

Iain walked over and put his phone on the table, the picture Gary took was on it .

" What do you make of that pal ?"

John looked at it.

" Is that it ?"

" That's what all the fuss was about "

" Kayleigh kisses everyone we know on the cheek like that, she's done it a hundred times, it means anything from see you soon to Oh you poor thing "

" But if you're low life scum, it means your shagging your best mates wife apparently "

" Dirty little shit " John glared towards Gary again.

" So what happens now ?" Kayleigh looked between Iain and John.

" Not much I suspect " Iain replied 

" Surely dickhead there will want to take it further ?"

Kayleigh looked again towards Gary.

" Problem is, I remembered you telling me of the conversation in the warehouse"

" And ?"

" Well if we have to investigate this fully, like the professionals we claim to be, we would have to question why none of my warehouse staff were wearing their mandatory high viz, for a start, and why, despite the regulations, they were all in here together leaving my loading bag unattended" Iain smiled and nodded to John.

" And why was he using his phone when he was on the forklift, and making derogatory comments about people not directly employed in this store"

John continued.

" A real tin of whoop ass" 

" So that's it then ?"

" For you and John it is "

" And for Gary ?" Kayleigh enquired.

" He's shit in his own nest "

" Meaning ?"

" Iain means he has Gary in his sights now"

" You'll sack him ?"

" No Kayleigh love, he'll get himself sacked, he's got no second chances left "

" Do people get more than one second chance then ?" Kayleigh looked at John.

He just smiled.

" You had more second chances than the rest of the store combined, didn't she John ?"

John nodded.

" Why did I get so many ?" Kayleigh looked at John quizzically. 

" Because he loved you for years before you got together, I thought you knew that "

Kayleigh shook her head and smiled at John.

" No I didn't Iain, I guess he forgot to tell me "

" Aye, he's bad for that sort of thing, always has been"

" Ain't he just ?"


End file.
